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    Humor and Anecdotes in Music

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    Humor and Anecdotes in Music

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 7:29 am

    You're no Mozart

    Mozart was once approached by a young man who was interested in Mozart's advice on how to compose a symphony. Since he was still very young, Mozart recommended that he start by composing ballads. Surprised, the young man responded, "But you wrote symphonies when you were only ten years old." "But I didn't have to ask how," countered Mozart.



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    Paul McCartney: Vegetables

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:06 am

    Paul McCartney: Vegetables

    One morning in Los Angeles, "Beatles Breakfast Show" DJ Chris Carter asked listeners the following question: "What Beach Boys' song does Paul McCartney appear on, eating a carrot?"
    Dozens of callers phoned in with wrong answers before someone finally called in and correctly replied, "Vegetables!" The caller? Sir Paul McCartney, of course. His prize? A radio phone and a bag of goodies, all signed by... Sir Paul McCartney.

    "Didn't he appear on Barbara Ann, also?"-max



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    Gabriel Faure

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:09 am

    Tempo

    Gabriel Faure was once asked what the ideal tempo for a song should be. "If the singer is bad," he replied, "very fast!"



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    Steve Miller Song Saves The Day!

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:25 am

    Steve Miller Song Saves The Day!

    During the 1960s, Steve Miller once played at the Cherry Blossom Festival in Richmond, Virginia:
    "There were about ten bands total. The promoters had been saying for weeks, everything's gonna be mellow, there's not gonna be any trouble, we worked it out with the police, we talked to the mayor...

    "We get to the gig and there are about twenty-five thousand people on the football field; nobody's sitting in the stadium. The first band starts playing, second band plays, third band plays and all of sudden there's some trouble in the audience.

    "There were two hundred plainclothes narcotics agents in the audience who had started busting people. While Boz Scaggs is playing, a helicopter with a judge flies in, like, thirty feet above the audience. It was turning sideways, tilting to show the judge people in the crowd smoking pot. Then up drive some buses full of storm troopers with four-foot shields, big poles and helmets, everything. It gets better...

    "Next door to this stadium a new one is being built, and some kid goes up this dirt ramp between the two and starts up a bulldozer. He drives down the ramp and crushes, like, seven police cars. Kids start smashing in the windows of the cop cars.

    "Meanwhile the promoter is saying to me, 'You've gotta play, man. You've gotta go up and play!' We're up next and we're the headliner. Just as I get onstage, the riot police come into the stadium, ready to storm into the crowd. People start throwing cans and bottles at them.

    "So I dedicated the next song to the police and played 'The Star-Spangled Banner.' They all stopped, took their helmets off and the whole riot ended. We finished the concert."



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    Young Bruce Springsteen: Butcher, Baker, Booty Shaker?

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:26 am

    Young Bruce Springsteen: Butcher, Baker, Booty Shaker?

    Bruce Springsteen's mother, who thought her young son should become an author, was not impressed when he announced his desire to play guitar.
    "My mother - she's very Italian - she says, 'This is a big thing. You should go see the priest,'" he recalled. An obedient son, Bruce went to the rectory and knocked on the door:

    "Hi, Father Ray, I'm Mr. Springsteen's son," he said. "I got this problem. My father thinks I should be a lawyer, and my mother, she wants me to be an author. But I got this guitar."

    "This is too big a deal for me," Father Ray replied. "You gotta talk to God... Tell him about the lawyer and the author," he then advised, "but don't say nothin' about that guitar!"



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    The Eagles: Like Hell

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:27 am

    The Eagles: Like Hell

    Shortly after the Eagles split up in 1981, Glenn Frey was asked when the band might be expected to reunite. "When hell freezes over," he tartly replied.
    Sure enough, the band reunited in 1994 and began performing again. The name of their reunion tour? Hell Freezes Over!



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    Funky Tunes?

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:30 am

    Funky Tunes?

    In 2003, Aaron Funk, who normally recorded under the name Venetian Snares, released a curious electronica album entitled Nymphomatriarch comprising songs derived from a curious source: noises which he and his girlfriend (Rachael Kozak) had recorded during their love-making sessions.
    "It's essentially alchemy, shaping sex into a new form," Funk explained. "It's weird to deconstruct the sounds of sex. It makes you conscious of a lot of stuff you'd normally ignore. I remember thinking, like, oh, that slap will make a good snare drum. Or, wow, that was a freakish set of grunts and moans - I want to make that into a choir later!"



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    Ironic?

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:31 am

    Ironic?

    "An old man turned ninety-eight, he won the lottery and died the next day. It's a black fly in your chardonnay, it's a death row pardon two minutes too late... Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?"
    Well, a certain English professor apparently didn't, complaining that many of the situations described in Alanis Morissette's hit song, while unusual, were not technically "ironic". Indeed, they were "just a bunch of bummers"...

    Morissette's response to the criticism? "Isn't that ironic."



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    Ninth

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:32 am

    Ninth

    Beethoven's notoriously difficult, groundbreaking Ninth (once called "the hammer that finally killed classicism") was his first symphony in more than a decade. It was also his last. Incredibly, Schubert, Dvorak, and Vaughan Williams (among others) also died after composing a ninth symphony.
    Indeed, musicologists joke about a 'ninth symphony syndrome': Mahler, superstitious about his ninth, promptly attempted to complete a tenth - and promptly died. Bruckner, despite numbering his first two symphonies 00 and 0, also died while composing his ninth. And Sibelius? He wisely stopped after his eighth - and went on to live another 33 years.



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    Fab Three?

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:33 am

    Fab Three?

    In 1989, George Harrison rejected Paul McCartney's latest proposal for a Beatles reunion. "As far as I'm concerned," he told an interviewer, "there won't be a Beatles reunion as long as John Lennon remains dead."



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    Elvis Presley & Johnny Cash

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:38 am

    Elvis Presley & Johnny Cash

    Johnny Cash's first single, "Cry, Cry, Cry"/"Hey Porter" (with guitarist Luther Perkins and bassist Marshall Grant), was released in 1955 by Sam Phillips's Sun Records. Though the so-called Tennessee Three continued to pump out such hits as "I Walk the Line," "Get Rhythm" and "Folsom Prison Blues," Phillips remained clearly focused on promoting the career of Elvis Presley, who had also signed with Sun. Cash, of course, was not amused.
    "John told me a really funny story about the Sun Records days," Tom Petty recalled. "I think he was headed somewhere in Texas, and Elvis had a hit record at the time. Phillips told him, 'I've got to get some Elvis records over to Texas, so I'm going to put these in the trunk, and you can give them to the promoter when you get there.' So John told me, 'We were crossing this high ridge in Tennessee, and I just had to sail one of those records off the cliff there. We wound up pitching every one of those records off the ridge like Frisbees!'"



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    Mark Knopfler: Money for Nothing

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:39 am

    Mark Knopfler: Money for Nothing

    Dire Straits frontman Mark Knopfler was once asked about the origin of the line "Get your money for nothing and your chicks for free" from the band's classic song "Money for Nothing."
    "That came from a big meathead working in an electrical appliance store in New York," Knopfler recalled. "He was watching MTV while moving boxes. I spied on him through a little gap in the microwave section, and the lines he was coming out with were so classic that I had to write them down as fast as possible! He actually said things like, 'What's that? Hawaiian noises?' and 'Maybe get a blister on your little finger.' And then he said, 'That ain't workin'' - little did he know!"



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    Peter Tork: Perfect Monkee

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:41 am

    Peter Tork: Perfect Monkee

    Stephen Stills was one of thousands who dreamed of joining the Monkees. When Stills was rejected (despite his obvious musical ability) on account of his thinning hair and rotting teeth, he suggested his friend, the bassist Peter Tork.
    Though short on talent, Tork had a certain "quality" which perfectly suited him for the gig: As he arrived for the audition, he accidentally walked into a wall - and promptly got the job.



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    Mother and Child

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:42 am

    Mother and Child

    Paul Simon was once asked by a journalist about his "profound" song "Mother and Child Reunion". Simon's inspiration? A chicken and egg dish of the same name seen on the menu in a Chinese restaurant in New York!



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    Blink 182: Say It Ain't So

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:43 am

    Blink 182: Say It Ain't So

    Blink 182 frontman Tom Delonge once called the band's classic pop anthem "All the Small Things" a great song to have sex to.
    Was it the song's suggestive lyrics ("I'll be your thrill, the night will go on, my little windmill") or its irrestible beat which made it such a bootie shaker? Not exactly. The song, Delonge explained, lasts just two minutes and fifty seconds!



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    Johhny Cash: Unchained

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:44 am

    Johhny Cash: Unchained

    "Johnny Cash was a man of immense grace, but he never mellowed. When Unchained won the Best Country Album Grammy in 1998, he bought a full-page ad in the trade magazine Billboard in which he sarcastically topped his message thanking 'the Nashville music establishment and country radio for your support' with the famous San Quentin shot of him ferociously giving the camera the finger."



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    Tom Petty and the Exaggerators

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:46 am

    Tom Petty and the Exaggerators

    At a school dance one day, Tom Petty (then fourteen years old) found himself talking to a beautiful girl. When she declared her love for a certain song, Petty, bent on impressing her, told her that his "band" often covered the tune.
    To Petty's delight, she was very impressed. To his dismay, she was so impressed that she invited them to play at another dance. Petty foolishly accepted, and promptly "freaked out": the dance was that Friday and Petty didn't know the song. Even worse, he didn't have a band at all!

    Though he managed to cobble some musicians together, they didn't have time to learn many songs. When dance day arrived they had learned just four - which they proceeded to play again and again and again and again...



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    Lead Zeppelin?

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:48 am

    Lead Zeppelin?

    One day the Who's late drummer Keith Moon told Robert Plant, Jimmy Page and the other members of a rival group that they'd "go over like a lead zeppelin." In a mockingly ironic move, they promptly adopted the term (Led Zeppelin) as the name of their band.



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    John Lennon: MBE

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:50 am

    John Lennon: MBE

    One day in 1969, John Lennon had his chauffeur deliver his MBE [Member of the British Empire] to Buckingham Palace with an accompanying letter to Queen Elizabeth:
    "I am returning this MBE," it read, "in protest against Britain's involvement in the Nigeria-Biafra thing, against our support of America in Vietnam, and against 'Cold Turkey' slipping down the charts. With love, John Lennon of Bag."



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    Subtle Replacements

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:52 am

    Subtle Replacements

    "Saturday Night Live" producers were so worried about an appearance by Paul Westerberg and the Replacements (who once sang their song "Shut up!" with a "F--- you!" chorus after disagreeing with a nightclub manager) that they forced the band to sign a $20,000 agreement not to swear on the air.
    Westerberg endeavored to sneak in as much profanity as possible with subtle replacements. During their performance of "Kiss Me on the Bus," for example, he replaced the word "bus" with a mumbled "butt."



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    The Who: Smashing Good

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:53 am

    The Who: Smashing Good

    While performing at a London club one evening in 1965, The Who's Pete Townshend whirled around and accidentally slammed his guitar against the low ceiling. When he realized that he had broken the instrument's neck, he smashed it against the ground and rammed the remnants into an amp. The crowd went wild and instrument-smashing promptly became a standard part of their act.
    Unfortunately, with the band smashing about £700 worth of equipment every night (and earning £500), finances quickly became an issue. "We'd come out ahead," John Entwistle screamed one day, "just by not showing up!"



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    Fiona Apple IIe

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:55 am

    Fiona Apple IIe?

    At the turn of the millennium, a business survey compared the pop culture wisdom of America's Fortune 1000 Senior Executives with that of a control group of 6th graders. Whereas most of the questions were answered correctly by at least 90% of the students, the executives did not do quite as well. 53% thought an Arch Deluxe (a McDonald's sandwich) was a computer part; 23% thought that the Internet was owned by Microsoft; and 43% thought Fiona Apple was a kind of computer.



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    Hasselhoff Jinx

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:56 am

    Hasselhoff Jinx

    Despite his musical success in Europe, David Hasselhoff's attempt to storm America was something of an abysmal failure. In 1984, Hasselhoff released a remake of "Do You Love Me?" The answer, apparently, was "Emphatically No." His next attempt came in 1993, when he arranged a live televised concert in Atlantic City. His timing could scarcely have been worse. As Hasselhoff began performing, everyone who planned to watch promptly decided to change the channel. Why? OJ Simpson, accused of a double homicide, had just jumped into his white Ford Bronco and was being chased by police down a Los Angeles freeway...



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    Alicia Keys: After Bedtime?

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:57 am

    Alicia Keys: After Bedtime?

    So musically precocious was Alicia Keys that her compositions often outpaced her limited experience: "I started merging my classical training with my own piano knowledge at about eleven," she once explained. "I started writing little songs from there. One of the first ones was called 'It's On Tonight.' WHAT is on tonight is what I want to know. What the hell is on tonight at eleven years old!? But we knew it was on, boy!"



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    Led Handshake?

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Aug 27, 2009 8:59 am

    Led Handshake?

    Famed Led Zeppelin manager Peter Grant once introduced himself to Bob Dylan at a party in Los Angeles. "I'm Peter Grant," he said, offering a warm handshake, "manager of Led Zeppelin." Dylan's reply? "I don't come to you with my problems, do I?"



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