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    joke of the day.............

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    Ymaginatif

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by Ymaginatif on Thu Dec 02, 2010 5:25 am

    I just want that guitar AND that purple case so badly ... I'll do anything [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]



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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Thu Dec 02, 2010 7:49 am

    Ymaginatif wrote:I just want that guitar AND that purple case so badly ... I'll do anything [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    Really.......zip me on some funky drums [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    and wicked a bass [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    with some cool keys [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    and you can hear me play. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    Nirp can chirp! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


    Peace of Cake. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    Something in B7 B7 A7 E will do!

    Maceo can produce and arrange [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    The Chief can give his Maxim Touch [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    You can have the case... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]






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    Mace2theO

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by Mace2theO on Fri Dec 03, 2010 4:57 am

    CKJ505 wrote:
    Ymaginatif wrote:I just want that guitar AND that purple case so badly ... I'll do anything [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    Really.......zip me on some funky drums [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    and wicked a bass [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    with some cool keys [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    and you can hear me play. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    Nirp can chirp! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


    Peace of Cake. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    Something in B7 B7 A7 E will do!

    Maceo can produce and arrange [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    The Chief can give his Maxim Touch [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    You can have the case... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]



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    CKJ505

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    You got to love the Irish

    Post by CKJ505 on Thu Dec 09, 2010 10:04 am

    Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish.

    "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.

    Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".

    Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet". [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]






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    The Funky Universe "Don’t hate me cuz I’m beautiful"
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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by Guest on Thu Dec 09, 2010 8:38 pm

    CKJ505 wrote:Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish.

    "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.

    Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".

    Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

    lol cute!
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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Mon Dec 13, 2010 9:52 am

    Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat.

    It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".

    Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.






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    purpleblues1

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by purpleblues1 on Mon Dec 13, 2010 4:05 pm

    CKJ505 wrote:Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat.

    It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".

    Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
    Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing



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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Mon Dec 13, 2010 4:16 pm

    purpleblues1 wrote:
    CKJ505 wrote:Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat.

    It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".

    Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    Hey Pb, do not share this with fellow Paddies there in the UK, they might take offense! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]






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    purpleblues1

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by purpleblues1 on Mon Dec 13, 2010 4:21 pm

    CKJ505 wrote:
    purpleblues1 wrote:
    CKJ505 wrote:Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat.

    It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".

    Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    Hey Pb, do not share this with fellow Paddies there in the UK, they might take offense! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    Will bear that in mind, but can "adapt" it
    as my favourite joke of this ilk is

    "dad, why are you staring at that carton of fruit juice?"
    "Shhh, son, it says "Concentrate"



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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Mon Dec 13, 2010 4:33 pm

    purpleblues1 wrote:
    CKJ505 wrote:
    purpleblues1 wrote:
    CKJ505 wrote:Paddy spies a letter lying on his doormat.

    It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".

    Paddy spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    Hey Pb, do not share this with fellow Paddies there in the UK, they might take offense! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    Will bear that in mind, but can "adapt" it
    as my favourite joke of this ilk is

    "dad, why are you staring at that carton of fruit juice?"
    "Shhh, son, it says "Concentrate"

    I have a few more like that, let's see what springs to mind tomorrow! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]






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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Tue Dec 14, 2010 7:15 am

    Paddy's in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his
    Feet.

    "What the hell you doing?" he asks.

    "Hangin’ meself" Paddy replies.

    "It should be around your neck" says the Guard.

    "I tried dat" says Paddy "but I couldn't breathe". [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]






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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Wed Dec 15, 2010 9:35 am

    An American tourist asks an Irish dive master:



    "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"

    To which the Irishman replies:




    "If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat." [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]






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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Thu Dec 16, 2010 9:20 am

    Paddy shouts frantically into the phone.

    "My wife is pregnant and her contradictions are only two minutes apart!"

    "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

    "No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!" tongue






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    The Funky Universe "Don’t hate me cuz I’m beautiful"
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    Ymaginatif

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by Ymaginatif on Thu Dec 16, 2010 9:25 am

    CKJ505 (Thu Dec 16, 2010 1:20 pm) wrote:Paddy shouts frantically into the phone.

    "My wife is pregnant and her contradictions are only two minutes apart!"

    "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

    "No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!" tongue

    rofl

    That was unexpected! sunny



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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Thu Dec 16, 2010 10:09 am

    Ymaginatif (Thu 16 Dec - 13:25) wrote:
    CKJ505 (Thu Dec 16, 2010 1:20 pm) wrote:Paddy shouts frantically into the phone.

    "My wife is pregnant and her contradictions are only two minutes apart!"

    "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

    "No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!" tongue

    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    That was unexpected! sunny

    I trying to win an award you know! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]






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    The Funky Universe "Don’t hate me cuz I’m beautiful"
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    Ymaginatif

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by Ymaginatif on Thu Dec 16, 2010 10:11 am

    CKJ505 (Thu Dec 16, 2010 2:09 pm) wrote:
    Ymaginatif (Thu 16 Dec - 13:25) wrote:
    CKJ505 (Thu Dec 16, 2010 1:20 pm) wrote:Paddy shouts frantically into the phone.

    "My wife is pregnant and her contradictions are only two minutes apart!"

    "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

    "No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!" tongue

    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    That was unexpected! sunny

    I trying to win an award you know! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    I know ... I guess I should just stop trying to be funny ... afro



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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Thu Dec 16, 2010 10:18 am

    Ymaginatif (Thu 16 Dec - 14:11) wrote:
    CKJ505 (Thu Dec 16, 2010 2:09 pm) wrote:
    Ymaginatif (Thu 16 Dec - 13:25) wrote:
    CKJ505 (Thu Dec 16, 2010 1:20 pm) wrote:Paddy shouts frantically into the phone.

    "My wife is pregnant and her contradictions are only two minutes apart!"

    "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

    "No", shouts Paddy, "this is her husband!" tongue

    [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    That was unexpected! sunny

    I trying to win an award you know! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    I know ... I guess I should just stop trying to be funny ... afro

    That being said, I make an effort to keep CK's Funhouse "fun" [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    and leave the serious stuff to you guys.[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]






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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Fri Dec 17, 2010 12:20 pm

    An old Irish farmer's scoop goes missing and he's inconsolable.

    His wife says "Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"

    He does, but two weeks later the scoop is still missing.

    "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.

    "Here scoop" he replies. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]






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    fkkScoop

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by fkkScoop on Fri Dec 17, 2010 12:52 pm

    lol
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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Mon Dec 20, 2010 7:10 am

    A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried
    toward the oasis, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand,
    selling ties..

    The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?" [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

    The Jewish man replied, "I have no water. Would you like to buy a tie?
    They are only $5."

    The Taliban shouted,
    "Idiot! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water!
    I should kill you, but I must find water first!

    "OK," said the old Jewish man, "It does not matter that you do not
    want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am
    bigger than that.
    "If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you
    will find a lovely restaurant. It has all the ice cold water you need.
    Shalom."

    Cursing, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.

    Several hours later he crawled back, almost dead & said

    "Your brother won't let me in without a tie!" [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]






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    purpleblues1

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by purpleblues1 on Wed Dec 22, 2010 1:40 pm

    Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
    Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."

    courtesy of Mahan... who's obviously very bored as she is FBing her way to an Olympic record.. Smile



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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Fri Dec 31, 2010 5:52 am

    Paddy [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.

    A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


    Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road.

    Cop says "that's your air freshener swinging about!" [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]






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    maxim9691

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by maxim9691 on Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:46 pm

    CKJ505 wrote:Paddy [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.

    A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


    Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road.

    Cop says "that's your air freshener swinging about!" [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
    rofl



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    maxim9691

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by maxim9691 on Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:49 pm

    An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in.
    A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
    - Billy Vaughn



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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Tue Jan 04, 2011 9:24 am

    Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage.
    I hooked up the boat to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

    The wind was blowing 110 k/mh, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

    I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. Sleep

    I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered,
    "The weather out there is terrible."
    My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?" affraid






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    Re: joke of the day.............

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