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    joke of the day.............

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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Fri Mar 02, 2012 8:25 am

    In Toronto Ontario a fire destroyed a multi story block of flats.

    A Jamaican family of six con artists lived on the first floor, and all six died in the fire.

    An Islamic group of seven Pakistani welfare cheats, all illegally in the country, lived on the second floor, and they too all perished in the fire.

    Six Al Quida terrorists lived on the 3rd floor and they too died.

    Four Aboriginal families in the 2 flats on the 4th floor also perished.

    One white couple lived on the top floor. They survived.

    Relatives of the deceased and local do-gooders were furious.
    They flew into Toronto and quickly demanded a meeting with the fire chief..

    On camera, they loudly demanded to know why the Jamaicans, Muslims, Tamils and Abos all died in the fire and only the white couple survived.

    The fire chief quietly replied,

    "They were both out working." Laughing






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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Sat Mar 03, 2012 5:40 am

    Proof that women bring balance and stability to your life.





















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    Laughing






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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:35 am

    Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.

    Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

    "I don't believe you," says Dolly.

    "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
    peek






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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:36 am

    Added to the above,

    What is Deja Moo?

    The feeling that you've heard this bull before. Laughing






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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:42 am

    An invisible man marries an invisible woman.

    The kids were nothing to look at either. eye






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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Wed Mar 07, 2012 7:12 am

    A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. sick

    He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" affraid

    The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!" point






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    maxim9691

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by maxim9691 on Wed Mar 07, 2012 7:55 am

    CKJ505 wrote:A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. sick

    He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" affraid

    The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!" point


    rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl



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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Thu Mar 08, 2012 5:38 am

    I went to a seafood disco last week, and pulled a mussel. blues bros






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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Fri Mar 09, 2012 4:17 am

    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.

    Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. titanic






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    Mace2theO

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by Mace2theO on Fri Mar 09, 2012 5:20 am

    CKJ505 wrote:Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.

    Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Fri Mar 09, 2012 5:28 am

    Mace2theO wrote:
    CKJ505 wrote:Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.

    Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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    To make one laugh or smile makes my day.

    Enjoy your weekend. sunny






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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:45 am

    I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any. Suspect






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    maxim9691

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by maxim9691 on Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:52 pm

    CKJ505 wrote:I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any. Suspect

    or the Maxim version

    I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day. When I arrived home wearing my new purchase, the neighbors were pointing and whispering as I walked to the door. When my Wife opened the door she said Jeez where did your pants go ?

    Or

    I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day but I couldn't find a pair that I liked. I asked the Salesman and he said "We have the new style over here!", "They are camo-parachute pants". I asked "why would anyone combine those two styles?" and the Salesman said 'They're for those old timers who miss the 80's but don't want anyone else to know it"


    Laughing



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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Tue Mar 13, 2012 4:33 am

    A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

    After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
    "But why," they asked, as they moved off.

    "Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." music2






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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:30 am

    Hot off the press...

    A woman asked her husband...

    "If you won the lotto, would you still love me?"

    "Of course darling I would love you, but I would miss you" Very Happy






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    Mace2theO

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by Mace2theO on Tue Mar 13, 2012 3:34 pm

    CKJ505 wrote:A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

    After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
    "But why," they asked, as they moved off.

    "Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by maxim9691 on Tue Mar 13, 2012 6:32 pm

    CKJ505 wrote:Hot off the press...

    A woman asked her husband...

    "If you won the lotto, would you still love me?"

    "Of course darling I would love you, but I would miss you" Very Happy

    Red Card



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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Wed Mar 14, 2012 6:27 am

    A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.

    One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.'

    The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him ' Juan.'

    Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.

    Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

    Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." sunny






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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Thu Mar 15, 2012 4:36 am

    A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. prison

    The call went out that there was a small medium at large. peek






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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Tue Mar 20, 2012 5:31 am

    "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
    "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
    "Is it common?"
    "Well, It's Not Unusual." Very Happy






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    fkkScoop

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by fkkScoop on Wed Mar 21, 2012 4:30 am

    CKJ505 wrote: "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
    "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
    "Is it common?"
    "Well, It's Not Unusual." [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


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    CKJ505

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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:11 am

    fkkScoop wrote:
    CKJ505 wrote: "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
    "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
    "Is it common?"
    "Well, It's Not Unusual." [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


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    Scoop, a Tom Jones fan....well I never..... Laughing






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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:11 am

    A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says:

    "A beer please, and one for the road." cheers






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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Fri Mar 23, 2012 4:19 am

    Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.

    The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent! drink3






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    Re: joke of the day.............

    Post by CKJ505 on Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:12 am

    Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
    He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

    This made him ,a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis! Laughing






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    Re: joke of the day.............

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