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    Tip of the Day ~ Everyday!

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    CKJ505

    Posts : 5497
    Join date : 2010-04-21
    Age : 45
    Location : Ireland

    Re: Tip of the Day ~ Everyday!

    Post by CKJ505 on Fri Mar 09, 2012 4:34 am

    Never ever go on a prune juice diet....

    You can loose 3 stone in a week from running to and from the toilet.

    sonic






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    The Funky Universe "Don’t hate me cuz I’m beautiful"
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    theartistcamille

    Posts : 432
    Join date : 2009-06-12
    Age : 28
    Location : WA

    Re: Tip of the Day ~ Everyday!

    Post by theartistcamille on Sat Jul 28, 2012 11:32 am

    Hilarious little thread wish i had something to contribute!
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    CKJ505

    Posts : 5497
    Join date : 2010-04-21
    Age : 45
    Location : Ireland

    Corporate World Lessons I & II

    Post by CKJ505 on Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:08 am

    Lesson Number I:
    A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
    A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him,
    ”Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”
    The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”
    So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
    All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Moral : To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting high up, very high up.

    Lesson Number II: A turkey was chatting with a bull.
    “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.”
    “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re packed with nutrients.”
    The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
    The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
    Finally after a forth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
    Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

    Moral : Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

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    The Funky Universe "Don’t hate me cuz I’m beautiful"
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    CKJ505

    Posts : 5497
    Join date : 2010-04-21
    Age : 45
    Location : Ireland

    Re: Tip of the Day ~ Everyday!

    Post by CKJ505 on Thu Jun 27, 2013 9:55 am

    A police officer asked me “Do you know why I stopped you?”king

    I said “You know, I have the same problem. I rush into a room, and then realize I have no idea why I went in there.Laughing






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    The Funky Universe "Don’t hate me cuz I’m beautiful"
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    maxim9691

    Posts : 9619
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    Age : 48
    Location : Retired NPG Vandal

    Re: Tip of the Day ~ Everyday!

    Post by maxim9691 on Thu Jun 27, 2013 6:45 pm

    CKJ505 wrote:A police officer asked me “Do you know why I stopped you?”king

    I said “You know, I have the same problem. I rush into a room, and then realize I have no idea why I went in there.Laughing

    lol!



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    maxim9691

    Posts : 9619
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    Age : 48
    Location : Retired NPG Vandal

    Re: Tip of the Day ~ Everyday!

    Post by maxim9691 on Tue Jun 21, 2016 3:52 pm

    Buy low and sell high



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    CKJ505

    Posts : 5497
    Join date : 2010-04-21
    Age : 45
    Location : Ireland

    Re: Tip of the Day ~ Everyday!

    Post by CKJ505 on Wed Jun 22, 2016 5:51 am

    Yeah! the tips are back!  Cool






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    The Funky Universe "Don’t hate me cuz I’m beautiful"
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    rocman

    Posts : 214
    Join date : 2016-05-17
    Age : 44
    Location : USA - Close to the Park

    Re: Tip of the Day ~ Everyday!

    Post by rocman on Wed Jun 22, 2016 6:35 pm

    Probably already used but....My 2 cents. 

    First the nice 2 cents....

    You can't change the past and you'll ruin your present worrying about your future.

    Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished.

    Now the not so nice 2 cents....

    If life gives you lemons, just squeeze the juice into a water gun and shoot everyone in the eyes.

    Always be a part of something sooooo.....  If you can't be part of the solution, then make darn sure you are part of the problem.


    I'm here all week.
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    Re: Tip of the Day ~ Everyday!

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